Stories feed the soul
What a simple word trust seems to be
It’s only five letters that are put together
So benign and innocent in appearance and pronunciation
Those letters don’t appear dangerous
If anything, it feels like an easy, comforting word
How so far from the truth that is…
This word can rip your heart to shreds
Wrappings its fingers around your heart with deceit, it can destroy you from the inside out
When we hurt, we keep it close and often do not share our fears
We suffer in silence and hope things will change sometime soon
Our fear closes our mouth and fills our head with uncertainty
Hearts are overcome with doubts kicking love out the door
Love cannot survive when the weeds of questions and doubts take over and choke it
This word can also set you free
It can unrestrain and unleash your spirit from a self imposed hell of isolation and lonliness
Through its gentle warmth and tender caress, it can slowly bring you back to life
The breath of love that washes over you brings with it a healing power
People greatly underestimate the power and benefits of inviting trust in your life
While you don’t usually control the end results, you do control your choice to offer or guard your heart
It would be wonderful to never experience hurt ot betrayal
That would mean that we would live in a fantasy world
For gut wrenching hurt and excruciating agony is something that we all will feel at one time or another
There are some who show us the love and encouragement that we long for
It is those that we need to open up to
Trust was designed just for them
They transform us into who we always were but didn’t have the strength to show
It’s hard to open up
We fear the pain and the worst possible outcome
A defensive mechanism that keeps us safe from a world full of hate and pain
Dare to open your arms and your heart to those who touch you as differnt and set apart
Allow your walls to crack and crumble under the hope, life, and warmth that they can bring to you
Just stand still and soak in the hope, sunshine, and love that exudes from them
Feel your world turn upside down
To those who read this and think that it just won’t work for them, I have this to say to you:
You are worth the risk
You are worth the vulnerability
You are worth more then any treasure on this Earth
You are priceless and cherished beyond our human understanding
You are beautiful and the risk of trust is worth the love that you will find
Please give trust a fair shot
Don’t let a phenomenal future go to waste
Fing the courage to bare your already bruised heart
Allow it another chance to find what it deeply craves
Why is it that I am left here standing alone
I am incapable of leaving or going on
My feet will not move even though I try with all my might
I cannot understand what holds me here
Is it a force beyond my comprehension , or just my own will
Do I torture myself or is it someone else
Is there pleasure in this emptiness I feel or is this someone’s insane joke
What have I done to deserve this
Have I wronged a person without knowledge of it
Or do I choose to block it out
What is this sadness deep in my soul that makes me cry inside
My tears go unnoticed to those around me
I hide my feelings from family and friends in hopes of them not having something else to worry about
I don’t want their pity, I want their love
This is effecting me in a way that I never thought of; I am no longer able to dream
My soul has no way of releasing this as it does other emotions
It cannot tell me what to do, or advise me
This matter is beyond my soul’s advice; I have never experienced this before
I have nothing to fall back on
I want to ignore it more than anything, but my heart won’t let me
It cannot forget, and this is why I cannot move from this place
My heart will not let me; it must know something that I don’t
How I wish it would tell me; inform me of the truth that I am not seeing
Am I hiding the reason I must stay here
Is it the man that touched my heart; his voice echoes in my ears
I cannot stop remembering his words
The paper contains his heart’s most intimate feelings; those feelings that cause him to love
How can he, why did he
I do not understand; this is not what happens to me
What is this that I am feeling; I do not understand
This cannot be true, but what if it is
Where does this leave me standing all alone
I want to be with him; feel his arms around me
The warmth of his body and his heart
His words haunt me day and night, but I can’t do anything about it
The absence of his presence drives me insane
It empties me of feelings and fills me with depression
That many miles separates us from the other
I wish things were different, but no such luck
How I want these days to end, my pain to go away
I cannot go on in this way, and expect my heart to regain what it has lost
No amount of compassion or pity can make me go back to the ways things used to be
I ask for no pity but only your love to pull me through this time in my life.
Note: This is my own personal and original poetry.
What is it about this emotion that drives us to find it?
People spend years searching far and wide for it
In the faces of those around them
Or in the eyes of one single individual
Why are we so entranced by its power over us?
It guides our decisions in life
We make sure that we leave enough room for it in the years to come
Is this a flaw in its design?
Or was it created to effect us this way?
Is this emotion pattered after the human heart to confuse it
To muddle our thoughts and cloud our minds?
Was this made on purpose to destroy our lives?
Or was it made to enhance our lives?
Is its purpose to bring emptiness and sorrow to reign in our hearts?
Or is it meant to bring fulfillment and joy to reign in our hearts?
How does it work?
And who is its creator?
Is love to be our slave?
Or our best friend throughout life?
Why do people spend their entire life searching after it?
What makes it so special and impossible to live without?
Philosophers and wise men have debated this topic for years
Never finding an answer that satisfies them
Their logic fails them every time when they try to explain love
What makes it so elusive?
Why does it seem to go into hiding until the right time comes?
Is this done on purpose?
Or is there a schedule that it follows without fail?
Why can we not shut our heart down?
Or tuck it safely away until the time feels right to set it free?
Why can we not shut down our emotions?
Surely there are other things in life that can use our full attention and devotion?
So why is it so impossible for us to deviate our passion for love into something more productive?
Why is this such a mystery?
What makes it so mysterious that logic cannot explain it?
Why can the heart not follow orders like the mind does?
Why is it such a rebel, a traitor?
Yes, a traitor, for it betrays our feelings to those who may not share our feelings toward them
It makes us vulnerable and as helpless as a child
Does it have a mind that hates us?
Where does its hate come from?
How have we wronged it?
What have we done?
Is there a way to make it right once again?
So many questions fill our mind
But too few answers are we able to find
Is the quest to find these answers to be taken by individuals
Or is to be taken by society as a whole?
Do we find wisdom in the lives of those around us?
Do we learn from their mistakes?
If we did, would we be better off?
Or do the answers lie in the souls of all?
Creatively hidden in the depths of our heart
Where most dread to wander for fear of finding themselves
And few love to explore for wonder of finding themselves
Regardless of which of these we are
How can we explain why this emotion moves us as strongly as hate does?
How can we explain in words of understanding how love calls up our entire being when it stares us in the face?
How can one emotion take total control of us and make us do things we Would never normally do?
What power does it possess?
What is the source of this power?
Simple human beings who fight everyday to live and survive?
How can we generate this much power inside us?
Where does it come from?
Can our souls possibly contain this much force and passion?
And how is it harnessed in just the right way for the perfect effect?
The human soul is just as illusive as this emotion called love
For answers to this are not what most people think
It is unique for every individual
As each falling snowflake is unique
It cannot be measured or give a price
For the soul is the very essence of life
Life as love is not easily explained
Too many interpretations and definitions exist
To define it without a doubt is an impossible feat
For who can say that their definition is the same for all people all over this world?
No one can because even two neighbors do not see life the same as the other
Just as they would not define love the same as the other
Love is subjective and lovely at best
For who can define a feeling like this?
Love is a great mystery for all times and ages past
And many have been explorers almost adventurers at best
But all have failed at finding the answers
Those answers that lie in the depths of our soul
For I believe most fiercely within my heart of hearts
Whomever can explain love can then explain life
Note: This is my own personal and original poetry.
Take a moment
Breathe in and breathe out
Don’t think just feel
The wind blows softly moving your hair
The night surrounds you
It holds you close
The warm air convinces you to dream
The grass beneath your bare feet relaxes you
You fade into a moment
A dream or fantasy takes you over
It lets you wonder from one end of the world to another
You see your paradise and start running for it
It looks just like you have always dreamed it would
You are tempted by it to stay here
To linger for longer then you intended
It draws you in
It wants to fulfill your desires
It wants to put your heart at rest
It wants to help you stop thinking and start feeling
You let it in
You let it envelope you
The place washes over you
You are overtaken with a strange peace
You are calm and yet excited
You are not sure whether to wait or to go looking around
Your curiosity wins and you begin your search
You eyes are overcome with the beauty of your surroundings
You are trying to take it all in at once, not wanting to miss anything
You wander around for what you think are hours
You can’t think of words to describe this place, no words can give it justice
Your eyes drink in everything around you
This place has taken you over
You don’t ever want to return from where you came from
You want to make this paradise your home
All of a sudden you see an object that somehow seems out of place
You feel like it shouldn’t be here
It’s not perfect like everything else in this place
It intrigues you
It seems to stare you straight in the face
You can’t look away from it
So you move towards it
As you come close you can make it out
It’s a stone made of glass
It doesn’t shine, not even when the sun shines on it
The design wasn’t made by a professional by rather by a child’s hand
It has an inner beauty, but yet you can’t figure out why
You touch it to see how it feels
It appears to be hard, but it is really soft
You thought it was cold, but it is really warm
This surprises you
You pick it up in your hands
A feeling washes over you
You close your hand around the flower
This feeling takes you over
Scenes of your life flash before your eyes
You smile at times that made you happy
A tear runs down your face when sad times appear
This goes on for awhile, until your life is retold to you
You stand there stunned
Too many questions are racing through your mind then can be answered
You look down at the stone
It has shattered into a thousand pieces in your hand
You stare at it stunned knowing that you didn’t crush it
It was only sitting in your hand
You unsuccessfully attempt to put the pieces back together
The harder you try the more pieces you find
The pieces seem to break into pieces as you pick them up
This seems hopeless to you
Out of frustration, you let the pieces fall through your fingers
Tears begin to fall down your face
You feel like there is a void in your soul
You can’t explain it, but that rock felt like it was a part of you
You were hurting when you saw that it was broken into many pieces
You fought vainly to put it back together
You failed at the attempt
Now you feel empty inside
You convince yourself that was a crazy thought and continue exploring your paradise
The farther away you move from the pieces of the stone, the less you feel
You try to whistle a tune to forget what just happened
But the music feels hollow
The words of the song slowly fade in your mind
An overwhelming feeling of emptiness fills you
You try to fight it by running
You run and run until you collapse from exhaustion
Your heartbeat echoing in your ears
As you lay there a warm breeze envelopes you
You close your eyes and let it wash the emptiness away
It calms you and holds you close
It brings a strange peace to your heart and fills your heart with hope
You can almost hear a voice talk to you through the wind
It comforts you, tells you to be at peace
The painful, hateful world you live in is not your true home
This paradise filled with love and peace is your home
Let my love and peace fill you
Let my hope enable you to live and love from day to day
The voice continued to speak words that healed your heart and comforted your soul
At least it stopped
The breeze slow faded and then drifted away
You take a deep breath and sit up
You look into a beautiful sunset and tears come into your eyes
You want to live, you want to love again
But the fear and pain of rejection holds you captive
You are reminded of the feeling of peace that came with the breeze and it brings hope
It brings a renewed courage
A renewed desire to start over but to remain cautious
Your heart longs to feel
It wants to feel love surging thought it again
It misses the electricity of the moments when love was felt the strongest
You make a promise to yourself that you will feel love again
You vow that even while remaining cautious you will let yourself feel again
You will take the gifts of life and treasure them whatever and whoever they be
You look down in front of you
To your amazement, you see the glass stone
Not in pieces but in its entirety
It seems to have a glow about it
It still shines with a light of purity
But it has also taken on the beautiful colors of the sunset
It has captured them inside and holds them forever to be treasured
A smile comes to your lips
You pick up the stone
Touch it again
And a feeling of peace flows through you
It holds you as long you hold onto the stone
You realize now that even though this world had broken your heart
You had not died with it
You don’t have to die with it
You can live if you choose to live
You can still take your frail heart and
You can let yourself love
Your world won’t end
It will only grow stronger for the love you have shared
Those around you will treasure you for your heart
They will count themselves as lucky to be called your friend
They will hate to see you go and will be eager for you to come around
This world forces us to intertwine our lives together in order to make it
This creates bonds that last for a lifetime and beyond
When a bond is broken it is devasting
When a bond is allowed to grow, it is a time of joy and excitement
Let the times of joy out-weigh the times of sorrow
Let your heart not be troubled
Think of and encourage the good in your life
And that void will slowly be overtaken
We know not how long we have on this earth
So spend that time with good friends
Make good friends out of strangers
Cherish the good times and create more good times
Note: This is my own personal and original poetry.
Thinking can slowly kill you
It can fill your mind with millions of thoughts while it empties your heart
It tears your heart and leaves behind the bad memories while hiding the good ones
Your thoughts can be your worst enemy or your best friend
They can tell you what you are
Or you can train them to tell you what you want to hear
Sometimes the truth can be distorted or can be so clear that we trip over it
Our minds can play games with us
It can make us think that nothing good has happened to us even if that is far from the truth
What makes us concentrate on the bad things and not on the good?
Why do we torture ourselves?
Do we love the pain we inflict on ourselves?
Does it make us feel good to put our heart through some kind of penance?
What is so appealing about digging up the past?
What purpose does it server us?
How does it help us?
Is it a way in which we remind ourselves not to make the same mistakes over again?
Where would this desire come from?
What good is it to be able to do this?
To be able to learn from our own mistakes as well as the mistakes of others?
Does is serve as a part of our conscience?
Is it a “design” that is “built” into us?
If it is, then who put it in?
Do we put it into ourselves or does someone else?
If we put it in ourselves then how did we do it?
If it was someone else then who?
Why did they put it in us?
What good does it do?
Does it prove to us some kind of a point?
Does it make our lives easier in some way?
Do all of these questions help us to understand ourselves?
Is it good to ask all of these questions?
Do they show a sign of weakness or of a hidden strength?
Is it good to question our thoughts?
To examine what might be hidden behind our thoughts?
What truth lurks just beyond plain sight?
Is there a purpose to this whole procedure?
A rationale behind all this?
Or is this plain insanity?
A front to hide dreaded secrets?
Secrets too bad to bring to light?
What could be that bad?
What could possibly bring out that kind of emotion?
I don’t know if anyone can truly answer those questions
Maybe we just have to learn to live with them
Maybe they are there to keep us busy
To give us something to think about
Whatever the case may be, I still have the same opinion:
Thinking can slowly kill you.
Note: This is my own personal and original poetry.