My Hateful Heart

Why do I listen to my heart??
It only brings me grief and despair in the end
At first everything is going fine, then all at once it all falls apart
I am beginning to hate my heart
It makes me hurt more than I usually do
It tears away at my soul
And destroys what love I have left
It loves to see me cry
It loves to see me in pain
My perseverance gets shorter and shorter with every painful experience
My life gets more and more wearier in living from day to day
I know this is not my reason for living and how I am thankful that it is not
But how it eats away at me and makes my life miserable at times
I wish I could tear my heart out of my chest and see it lie on the floor for all of eternity
I have too many painful memories to bear
I wish I could forget them indefinitely
But they haunt me nevertheless
My heart won’t let me forget any of them!!
Not even one
Why am I like this
Why am I so naive
I must love to put myself through this torture
Does my heart get a kick out of it
Does it revel in my pain
I truly think it does sometimes
It enjoys the fact that I yearn to be in the arms of a man I truly love
To be loving touched and kissed by him
To know his heart intimately
And to share my love with him
And yet it teases me by keeping the man that I have loved so far away from me
It leaves me grasping for him long after he has let go
It leaves me heartbroken over and over again
Only to pick up the pieces to start all over again
Will I ever break this cycle
Will I ever stop breaking my heart
Will I ever stop this pain
Will it ever end for me?

Note: This is my own personal and original poetry.


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