Why?

Why is it that I am left here standing alone
I am incapable of leaving or going on
My feet will not move even though I try with all my might
I cannot understand what holds me here
Is it a force beyond my comprehension , or just my own will
Do I torture myself or is it someone else
Is there pleasure in this emptiness I feel or is this someone’s insane joke
What have I done to deserve this
Have I wronged a person without knowledge of it
Or do I choose to block it out
What is this sadness deep in my soul that makes me cry inside
My tears go unnoticed to those around me
I hide my feelings from family and friends in hopes of them not having something else to worry about
I don’t want their pity, I want their love
This is effecting me in a way that I never thought of; I am no longer able to dream
My soul has no way of releasing this as it does other emotions
It cannot tell me what to do, or advise me
This matter is beyond my soul’s advice; I have never experienced this before
I have nothing to fall back on
I want to ignore it more than anything, but my heart won’t let me
It cannot forget, and this is why I cannot move from this place
My heart will not let me; it must know something that I don’t
How I wish it would tell me; inform me of the truth that I am not seeing
Am I hiding the reason I must stay here
Is it the man that touched my heart; his voice echoes in my ears
I cannot stop remembering his words
The paper contains his heart’s most intimate feelings; those feelings that cause him to love
How can he, why did he
I do not understand; this is not what happens to me
What is this that I am feeling; I do not understand
This cannot be true, but what if it is
Where does this leave me standing all alone
I want to be with him; feel his arms around me
The warmth of his body and his heart
His words haunt me day and night, but I can’t do anything about it
The absence of his presence drives me insane
It empties me of feelings and fills me with depression
That many miles separates us from the other
I wish things were different, but no such luck
How I want these days to end, my pain to go away
I cannot go on in this way, and expect my heart to regain what it has lost
No amount of compassion or pity can make me go back to the ways things used to be
I ask for no pity but only your love to pull me through this time in my life.
 

Note: This is my own personal and original poetry.

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