My Life

As the days go by, I dream of a life I would love to wake up to
To wake up to the rythmatic breathing of the man that I will forever be in love with
He would always be in my thoughts and in my prayers throughout the day
I would be able to just look at him and know what he is thinking
To feel his heart’s desires and to know him so well that words are not necessary
He would know me even better
He knows my thoughts and my heart’s yearnings
He would be content to sit with me and to talk about anything or nothing
Just to be in each other’s company brings us closer together than anything ever could
What he has given me is more than I could ever have asked for
He has given me the chance to be able to care for and to bring into this world precious life two times over
They are our children and not just mine or his
We care for them like precious jewels that need to be nurtured and cared for
They need our guidance and especially our love
I am given the privieldge of taking care of these precious lives
I clean the house that their father has provided for them
I also am able to give them nurishment and help them to live in this world and with each other
We both love them with all our hearts
They are both in our hearts and in our thoughts
We teach them what they need to know to survive and beyond that
Our love for them seems almost perfect and pure
No matter how much we love our children, the love we have for each other is just as strong if not stronger
We both need each other and our children to live everyday and to be whole
Before our children were born, we were complete with just the two of us
But while I was carrying each of my children, I realized that our lives were going to change but for the better
The chidlren were going to broaden our lives and especially our love
Our love for each other has literally grown since our children arrived
There seems to be no boundry or limit to love in our lives
This life is not perfect by any means, but there is so much in this life to explore that it does not have to be perfect
Searching for meaning in life is no longer a labyrinth
It is a lot simplier than it ever was
I have everything I need or would ever want
I am totally fulfilled and happy
Peace fills my days from morning to sunset
I have the love of my life at my side everyday of my life
I have an intimacy with him that could not be matched by anything
My children bring sunshine and happiness into my life
They are my pride and joy
I could not ask for anything more
I am happy beyond expression
I have everything that I have ever wanted
This would be a dream come true

Note: This is my own personal and original poetry.

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My Hateful Heart

Why do I listen to my heart??
It only brings me grief and despair in the end
At first everything is going fine, then all at once it all falls apart
I am beginning to hate my heart
It makes me hurt more than I usually do
It tears away at my soul
And destroys what love I have left
It loves to see me cry
It loves to see me in pain
My perseverance gets shorter and shorter with every painful experience
My life gets more and more wearier in living from day to day
I know this is not my reason for living and how I am thankful that it is not
But how it eats away at me and makes my life miserable at times
I wish I could tear my heart out of my chest and see it lie on the floor for all of eternity
I have too many painful memories to bear
I wish I could forget them indefinitely
But they haunt me nevertheless
My heart won’t let me forget any of them!!
Not even one
Why am I like this
Why am I so naive
I must love to put myself through this torture
Does my heart get a kick out of it
Does it revel in my pain
I truly think it does sometimes
It enjoys the fact that I yearn to be in the arms of a man I truly love
To be loving touched and kissed by him
To know his heart intimately
And to share my love with him
And yet it teases me by keeping the man that I have loved so far away from me
It leaves me grasping for him long after he has let go
It leaves me heartbroken over and over again
Only to pick up the pieces to start all over again
Will I ever break this cycle
Will I ever stop breaking my heart
Will I ever stop this pain
Will it ever end for me?

Note: This is my own personal and original poetry.

Love

What is love?
Is it a feeling?
Or is it much more?
What causes people to love?
Is it something inside us?
In our souls?
Or is it much closer to the surface?
Is it just something to pass the time with?
Or does it mean much more?
Are people just play things?
Or should they be treated with respect?
Does everyone’s feelings matter?
Or just yours?
When it comes to love, everyone involved is important
Love is more than an emotion
It goes beyond all feelings
It is a bond between two people
But it is no ordinary bond like friendship
It is a very special bond
It begins to unite the hearts of two people
It brings one closer to the other
This closeness starts to knit their hearts and souls together
This is no normal event
It can turn your life in-side out
It can make you complete
And bring fulfillment and happiness to your life
It turns your world up-side down
And leaves you puzzled
Because trying to figure out what love is and why it changes you the way it does can drive you insane
For pure emotion and feeling goes beyond all logic
It cannot be defined according to regular means
You have to look past all logic
For the only way to define love and the impact that is has on your life
Is to follow the logic of the heart
And to listen closely to the soul’s haunting song of joy and happiness

Note: This is my own personal and original poetry.

Soon

The sands of time will pass away
The mountains of the earth will crumble
The oceans will run dry
The creatures of this world will be no more
Humans will transform to become what we were always meant to be
This earth will fade away, making way for a better one
Don’t trouble your mind
Don’t speculate the details
Don’t wonder about the future
Just close your eyes
Imagine
Let your thoughts run to a time and place that you wanted to last forever
A time when all were happy
A place where peace reigned
People who loved you
An event that echoes throughout your life
Don’t relive the past
Instead use those same eyes to look at the future
Not as rose colored glasses
But as a child who knows not the infirmities of life
Assume happiness and it will be
Think love and you will be embraced
Speak joy and you will laugh out loud
This life is just a second
It doesn’t compare to the future
Don’t dwell on the discomforts of the present
Live in the knowledge of the best future possible
Let go
Smile
Laugh
Love
Reach Out
Never say never

Note: This is my own personal and original poetry.

Loneliness

The feeling engulfs you
It takes all the joy from your heart
It squeezes all life from your soul
And fills it with a black hole
Your life is them void of love
Void of fulfillment
Void of any true feelings
You can pretend to be happy or content
But you really are longing for any feeling at all
Anything that will make you feel an emotion
I would love to cry or hurt
But that seems beyond me
I am incapable of love or even peace of mind
Torture I could take
Then I could at least feel something
I would be hurting
I would be desiring something
And that something would be love
At this point I don’t want love
I don’t want to be next to him
I just want to be rid of his memory
I want to forget him like it seems he has forgotten me
Why can’t I turn his memory off like it was turned on
If I could forget him completely, I would not be lonely anymore
If only it was a possibility
I would jump for joy
Then I could feel an emotion which would be happiness
How I wish for that to happen
My heart aches everyday without fail
It refuses to let me forget him
I wish I could tear it out
How it betrays me
It makes me suffer for something I did not do
I did not ask to feel what I felt for him
I was taken unaware
It was not my idea
If anything it was his fault
I wonder if he did it on purpose
Does he enjoy knowing that I was hurting
Does it make him feel good that I feel for him
I wonder if he felt in control
Like he owned my heart and was in charge of my emotions
Telling me what to feel and when to feel it
He would have to hate me to do that
But he never knew me before that
Can people hate you without having to even meet you
How can people be that cruel
Hate to that extent
I feel lost
Slowly drowning in a sea of despair
What have I done to deserve this
There is nothing for me to hold on to
I am sinking and never seem to hit bottom
I can’t see anything
I am just here
I am nowhere
I just “am” nothing more
Is there still a purpose to my life
Does life still have meaning
Is there a reason to all this
Am I supposed to learn something from this
If I am, than what is the lesson
I can’t seem to figure it out
I don’t know what to do
I have no idea of what to think about all this
I am lost in my own soul
Nowhere to run to
Nowhere to go
No one to talk to
No one to hold
Engulfed in the feeling of loneliness

Note: This is my own personal and original poetry.

Irony of Life

I believe that life enjoys the irony that it throws at us
I think it watches and smiles at what enfolds each and every day
For good or for bad, we can’t usually control what happens
People that we thought we knew suddenly decide to change their mind about “us”
Another couple falls in love who hated each other for years growing up
Still another person finds that for every good event in their life there is also bad
The wheels of time never stop, slow, or creep by
The continue to turn and turn
Creaking along as hearts break and others bloom

Our hearts and life beat at different times
Usually in complete opposite of each other
The beat sounds like a dark laugh patiently waiting to claim another victim
Sometimes it gets impatient and decides to strike early wreaking unnecessary havoc

It always takes your breath away even if you are expecting it to pay you a visit
You always believe or hope that it is not as cruel as everyone says
You close your eyes and pray under your breath that it would go away
That it would leave without leaving a scar
Without tearing your heart to shreds and ripping a hold into your soul

You can try to fight it
You can try to hide from it
You can try to barricade yourself in a “life-proof” situation
You can try to pray
You can try to scream

No matter what you do, you can’t win
All you can do is watch
All you can do is stand with your arms extended looking out asking why

The knee jerk reaction is to blame yourself
Please don’t do that
There is nothing you can do against the cruelty of life
You aren’t equipped to handle this
Nothing can prepare you for what happens unexpectedly

You are given no warning
Even if you were given warning, there is nothing you can do to stop it
So it kind of makes it easier then dreading the evil event

No one can protect you
No one can warn you for you would not believe them necessarily
No one can take your place no matter how much they may wish to
If this is any comfort to you
You are not alone
Your friends are with you
They see the emptiness and pain in your eyes
They would trade places with you in a heartbeat if it would help to ease your pain

They will lift your spirits for a time if you let them
They will help you to bear this burden
They will offer an ear to listen to you
They will extend their arms if you are in need of a hug

Quiet times spent with friends sometimes help to heal
Feeling the presence of a friend nearby helps to ease the pain for a time
They hear the emptiness of your heart in your spoken words
There is a resounding echo from your soul that can be heard
They would take on your sorrow and pain if they could

No matter what happens, you can’t give up
You can’t hide in a dark room from the world
You can hide inside, but don’t stop living
Don’t stop daring to love when people enter your life who deserve that love

Remember to continue putting one foot in front of the other
Take one day at a time
Along with the evil of life, it sure can bring such amounts of joy as well
They can raise you in wings of love and let you soar through the clouds
They make you feel like your feet never touch the ground
They take all of the weight of everyday burdens away
They make you forget the evil of this world for awhile
They bring a smile to you face that doesn’t easily fade away

Don’t forgot those times, feeling, experiences
They shape, mold, and make you into the person you are
You can then turn and help those around you going through the same thing
You can show them compassion
You can encourage them to keep going
Challenge them as I am challenging you to live

Note: This is my personal and original poetry.

Friend

What does that word mean?
Does it mean a kind human being?
Does it bring warm thoughts to your mind?
A person who likes you for yourself with no strings attached?
Are they genuinely concerned about you?
Is their love true and pure?
Do they help you because they see that you need help?
Are they kind, compassionate people?
Are they true to your friendship?
Do they keep your secrets?
Can they be trusted?
Can you tell them your most intimate feelings and thoughts too?
Is it possible to find them ready to hear when you have to say something to them?
Are they self-sacrificing?
Do they help you at any cost to themselves?

OR

Does the word friend bring bad memories to mind?
Is a friend one who gets something from your friendship?
What can they possibly get from you friendship?
Help with work, favors, the list can go on and on, I am sure
Do they abuse your friendship?
Is there never enough time for you to talk to them?
Is it never the “right time” to get help from them?
Do they really care about you?
Is there genuine love and care in their hearts for you?
Can you tell them anything and everything without them getting bored with the conversation?
Do they help you out with no cost to themselves?
Do they only help people when they “have to”?
Do they complain about having to go out of their way to help people?

If you find a good friend who fits the first part of this poem, then do all the you can to keep that friendship alive
Good friends are hard to find
You can find friends almost anywhere
But good friends can be very hard to find
They are a valuable treasure
Ones who should be treated with care and love
These friends will be with you through thick and thin
They will “watch your back” and stick up for you to anyone and everyone
They are precious people who deserve our love and loyalty

If however you have a friend that fits the last part of my poem, you should definitely rethink their friendship
Make sure that their friendship is true
If it is not, then maybe you should find a new friend
One who would be true to you
One who would care for you for the person you are rather than what he or she can get from you
One who is not concerned about their personal gain but rather about you because you are their friend
Friends are very important to us
They can tell a lot about us
They tell people what we are like
What we think and how we act
Amazing, isn’t it?
That is why we should be very careful about who we make friends with
Normally I would disagree with this way of thinking
But as I get older I see the truth in that statement
I can see the wisdom of this logic
Do you?

 

Note: This is my own personal and original poetry.